A Pilgrimage Experience

The object of my practice is to learn how to live every moment in the awareness of God’s Presence. This is the practice that I am growing and part of the way I grow is to teach it. I call it a devotional practice because it is fueled by my love and longing and intuition of wholeness. And it is a practice of intention, the pure and simple intention of just being, which means being in God’s presence. Though it begins as the simplest of practices, I find that so much is required of me, and so much is revealed as my spiritual work is given to me layer by layer.

The deepest layer I call D’vekut. Here in the absence of content, essence is revealed. Boundaries of self dissolve. The mind becomes spacious. The heart expands. Over time a foundation of Presence is layered beneath my life.

In order to touch that layer, I must work moment to moment in the layer I call “The Functions of Consciousness.” In order to know the purity of just being, I have found that four distinct functions of consciousness must be cultivated. They are:

The ability to focus attention. Korban – The art of letting go of content. Tshuvah – The art of returning (to the intention to be in God’s Presence). M’sirat Nefesh – Surrendering of the small self to that transforming Presence.

And so my practice becomes the building of these functions.

The fourth function, M’sirat Nefesh, describes the over-all process of transformation that I must surrender to… It is an awareness of the effects of the practice, and in that awareness, a consent to Presence as it transforms the heart.

The third layer of practice — the cultivation of midot — can be described as ecstatic practice. It employs heart opening techniques of breath — work, melody, rhythm, movement, inner-journeying, imagery and the building of energy. This ecstatic energy is then used in the cultivation of the four functions of consciousness, and those functions are accessed as we simply enter the silence to “just be.”

I find that each moment of silent meditation is a microcosm of my life. I must deal with physical pain, mental distraction, conflicting voices. And as the stillness in me rises, as my heart opens to the pervading Presence, I am given access to both the fullness of my incarnation, and a glimpse through to the vastness beyond. Moment by moment I am given the opportunities to enter that doorway. The qualities that I cultivate in order to step through that doorway in meditation are the same qualities I need in order to live a life in which the fullness of my love is realized. And then as I practice each day I am growing that love. And from that watered garden each fragrant breath calls out an invitation. “Blow upon my garden that its perfume may waft out. Let my Beloved come into his garden, and eat its precious fruits.”

©2000 Shefa Gold. All rights reserved.