21 Positive Quotes To Brighten Your Cold Winter Day

Hi everyone!

I’d like to talk to you about positive thinking. It’s a popular concept, right? You hear about it all the time: “Just think positive!” It’s supposed to make you feel better and get you out of a rut if you’re feeling stuck.

Well – it’s not quite that simple. And sometimes, “just thinking positive” is not actually a good thing. Let me try to explain that with an example.

Say a little kid is afraid of a monster under the bed. You’re trying to make him feel better. What would you do?

Would you tell him to stop worrying about the monster and “just think positive”? Or, would you look under the bed, tell him there is no monster, and invite him to get down on the floor and take a look for himself?

(…If you didn’t pick up on the subtle hint there, I was kind of hoping you’d go with option B).

Folks – when you’re feeling concerned about something, that ‘what-if’ is a bit like feeling there might be a grizzly bear standing behind you. “Thinking positive” is like telling yourself to ignore the possibility of A BEAR, and just look at the pretty meadow in front of you.

…First of all, it doesn’t work. It’s a bleeping BEAR. Expecting yourself to ignore your fear is ridiculous!!! You can’t get your mind off the bear, no matter how hard you try to make yourself think of the meadow instead. And when you can’t do it, you feel like a failure. So now, you’re feeling scared of the bear, pressured to not feel scared of the bear, and ashamed that you can’t stop feeling scared of the bear. Gee, that’s a much bigger mess than just being scared, now isn’t it?

…Second – trying to force the bear out of your mind is exhausting. It takes up all of your energy, and makes it hard to focus on anything else.

…And third – it’s basically avoidance. Avoidance feeds the fear, and keeps it growing.

So – what can you do instead?

Well – I’m guessing that most of your concerns are a little more complicated than imaginary bears and monsters. You can’t just make the concern go away by checking behind you or under the bed.

Start by reminding yourself that feelings are reactions to events, and you are not making a choice to feel worried: your feeling is a natural reaction to events. Then, at least you aren’t piling shame and guilt on top of the worrying. That doesn’t fix whatever you’re worried about, but at least it frees up some mental space for problem-solving…

Please share this post, and any other on this blog, with anyone who might benefit.

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Fine print: Reading this blog is a good start, but if you’re having a hard time, it’s no substitute for getting actual help (as in therapy). It takes a different kind of courage to admit to yourself that you’re struggling, and to seek help. Getting help is not a sign of failure – it’s a sign that you’ve been through a lot, and have tried to stay strong for too long. If you need help – you’re in some pretty great company. Reach out, and give yourself a chance to feel better.

Really fine print: Unless otherwise noted, all original photography on Coming Back Home is copyrighted. The photo gracing today’s post was taken by Wojtek Rajski, and I’d like to thank him for generously allowing me to use his work. Please do not copy content, including photographs, from Coming Back Home without permission.